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diana deaver emotional health practitioner

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In our current culture there is a psychological complex that is pervasive and extremely costly: the superhero complex: Superman/Superwoman. People who carry this complex unconsciously thrive on hyper functioning. They feel valuable when they put out fires, anticipate needs, acquire accomplishments and succeed at difficult tasks. While this is a necessary stage in any person’s development, the cost of this complex unconsciously running our lives indefinitely is very high. It creates a continuous interior restlessness. If we are not striving to achieve something, we are thinking about what goal needs to be pursued next. Satisfaction is always out there, not quite in our grasp. “When I get this, then I’ll be happy.” But that’s a false promise because “when I get this, I’ll want something else”. People who are accustomed to being seen as superheroes and miracle workers don’t know how to rest. And yet they crave it deeply. Enjoying what they have, celebrating life as it is, taking days off, all these seem extremely dangerous, threatening the overachieving status quo. In reality doing, succeeding, acquiring “the next best thing” often ends up being a repetitive loop, which obscures an underlying deep sense of emptiness, a life so exteriorly bound that there is little or no inner substance (spiritual and emotional bankruptcy)

The first day of spring corresponds to the fool archetype. The fool represents an old and meaningful pattern in human manifestation. The fool is the breaker of patterns, bringer of change and of wisdom through experience. It speaks the truth sometimes in clever, crafty, funny ways, other times in shocking ways. It reveals the shadow. It brings to light what is unconscious, sometimes by pushing the exact buttons we so often cover with a mask. The fool is not interested in our comfort and its presence can often be unsettling. When the fool shows up in our lives we may experience it as the rug being swept from under us or everything going upside down. Resisting the fool brings suffering. Dancing with the fool gives us the recklessness and levity needed to move in a completely new and unfamiliar direction. Even when challenges and “failures” come from new adventures, the fool helps us get up and keep going, transmuting failures into worldliness. What has come apart is put together in a new fashion. The fool enables us to replace fear with wonder. One of the Greek gods that corresponds to the fool is Dionysus. There is so much more that can be said about this pattern. Making it conscious in ourselves if the main goal of recognizing it.

Deep listening is one of the most powerful relational skills we can foster. The ability to hear a person and help them feel heard is incredibly healing. When we know another has seen our pain without being burdened or in some way diminished by it and without judging us for it, we are freed of it. We cannot listen to another if we are not willing to listen to ourselves. When we practice any relational skill we benefit two fold. When we are compassionate with another we become more compassionate with ourselves. When we are heard we are given permission to hear ourselves. This is why relationships exist. To learn together in a two way mirror.

I celebrate the beauty, grace, rage, nurture and mystery of the feminine. My heart is grateful for all I have received through all women in my life.

Happy Moon Day. As a way to balance out our masculine valuing culture I have been working on recognizing and appreciating feminine aspects in my life. One example is my approach to the first day of the work week. Not many people know that weekdays are named by planets in our solar system. Mondays are named by the moon- a symbol for the feminine. I used to have very intense, frantic, goal oriented Mondays- when achievement and effectiveness were my most treasured values, just like our society teaches. Recently, I’ve mindfully and intentionally slowed down Mondays. I have been experimenting with a gentle and nurturing start to my week as opposed to an intense one. My body, my nervous system and my smile have been very receptive to this subtle change. There’s a different quality to the day and the week when I allow the Moon to govern my Moon Days. Flowing through Mondays as opposed to pushing through feels very very different. It is teaching me that I can be soft and tend to my life at the same time. There is ease and enjoyment.

Let’s talk about dreams. Because nothing can be transformed in the unconscious, our dreams often show us what it is in our psyche that requires our conscious attention and work. It is very much like the visitation of a wild animal that approaches us, stares for a while as if communicating something through their glance and then walking away. The content is at times surprising, at times touching, dangerous, or even awe-inspiring. It is our job to learn to approach it with respect, curiosity, caution, and gentleness. Can you be with the guests that come from your unconscious?

When a person skilled in defense chooses peace, they are no longer dominated by the archetype. Their relationship with the warrior has discernment now. It is no longer raw and instinctual. A higher purpose is served. Ego purposefully steps back in service to Spirit. This is the case for the integration of any archetype. There is awareness towards the tendency to react according to the pattern and yet we are no longer overtaken by it. A deliberate and meaningful choice is made. This is the meaning of true spiritual freedom. This is individuation.

Life is meant to be lived fully! Take the risk. Book the trip. Make the choice.

Affirming our conscious choices, our connection to source or our capability to dwell in peacefulness, despite whatever fears, stress or pain may arise is a powerful way to employ our free will.