Could it be that emotions choose us as opposed to us choosing them? Does anyone decide to fall in love or out of love, does anyone reach for sadness or grief?
Here’s what can turn a feeling into a toxic experience:
-repressing, discounting or denying emotions takes an enormous amount of energy.
- Pay attention of how tired you feel every time you try to hide how you really feel. Often people resort to all kinds of distraction techniques to avoid feeling their feelings. Those behaviors end up causing long term disconnection from self. When you get in the habit of running away from uncomfortable emotions, it’s difficult to stay connected with the emotions that are more pleasant to experience.
- Not feeling your feelings brings an inner dynamic of incarceration. Think of an animal that has been chained for a long time, without being allowed to move freely
- The habit of repressing emotions also gives birth to the possibly of being overpowered by those particular feelings that have been hidden, and they often emerge at an intensity that feels unbearable.
– covering up emotions: are those emotions we use to cover other emotions. We often use shame to cover up helplessness. We sometimes use anger to cover up fear or shame.
A way to turn uncomfortable emotions into an empowering experience is by fully feeling them!
1) can you notice how you are resisting or avoiding your feeling?
3) focus on what it feels like to experience that emotion. What is the physical sensation? Is it weight in your chest? Is it coolness in your feet?
5) get curious: why is life offering you this experience? address the emotion directly: what are you here to teach me about myself? Is your anger at your boss teaching you that your voice matters? Is your sadness after a fight telling you that you need to feel heard? Allow a few moments of stillness. Consider that the answer may arrive right away or the next day.
Benefits that come from embracing our emotions:
–Is it possible that our feelings is how our higher self communicates with and guides us? What if each feeling, no matter how we label it is a signpost to our well-being? What if unhappiness for instance is a form of feedback that something is our of sync internally?
-Feeling our feelings brings an inner dynamic of aliveness.
-When we accept our feelings it becomes easier to share them with those around us and that in turn creates more intimate and more meaningful relationships
As you clean up the old repressed and clogged up emotions, your emotional channel is going to open up. You’ll notice your intuition being sharper and your heart lighter.
If you’d like to continue your exploration, here’s a few other links to videos and lectures on the topic.