Is it okay to re-negotiate an agreement?
When is it okay to re-negotiate an agreement?
Are you still trustworthy if you request alterations in your agreements? more “Renegotiating Agreements (video)”
At the beginning of this year as part of my resolution making process, I decided to stop blaming others for my unhappiness. In particular, I gave up “man bashing”. You probably know what I’m talking about- man bashing is that thing women do when they get together and go about finding faults in the opposite sex. And I’m not trying to bash women for bashing men here- I get it- it feels good to find a culprit and take him through the court trial where our best friends are the jury. For a second- it gives a sense of power, false power. But just like glazed doughnuts give you a brief 30 seconds of pleasure, the real cost of that comfort is way too high to choose it every day. See, for me, this unspoken cultural standard of punishing our loved ones by exposing their perceived faults to our friends, is a highly effective relationship damaging technique that I no longer want to apply to my life. The problem with finding fault with others is that, in time, you get good at finding fault in general and then eventually that becomes a way of living- looking for someone to blame.
People who give too much tend to create value for themselves through what they have to offer to the world. The more they offer to the world and the better appreciated that is, the more valuable they feel, the more worthy of love and affection they feel. Unfortunately that carries into their everyday life where overwhelm and exhaustion begin show up, especially when they constantly focus more on other people’s needs while neglecting their own’ Over-givers are very attached to the outcome of their giving. If they’ve offered your gift or service and it’s not well-received or well appreciated, they feel resentful , lonely and unappreciated. At the same time over-givers have a very hard time receiving. They often feel uncomfortable if they can’t offer something in return. Whatever you offer them, they feel the need to reciprocate right away or find something of equal value to offer you in exchange. more “Overgiving- Thoughts About People Who Give Too Much (article + video)”