Boundaries help us experience the world and our connection to other people in a safe way. You can imagine your boundaries as internal warriors that allow or don’t allow intruders to come in. The stronger our warriors are the more protected we are. Two ways you can strengthen your ability to honor yourself and what feels safe for you is to:
1) delay responding to an invitation when you’re not sure whether it’s something you want to do, offer or engage in
2) offer compassion and understanding when someone takes your boundary setting personally, instead of trying to change yourself to please them
We allow what we believe we deserve. Poor boundaries reveal unconscious beliefs about our lack of worthiness. If we weren’t allowed to protect ourselves against the shaming of others as children we will grow up to believe we don’t deserve to keep ourselves protected from the emotional aggression of others.
Emotional Health Homework on the topic of Boundaries:
- What are some personal boundaries you struggle to set every day?
- How do you experience your boundaries to be currently? How would you like them to be?
- What are some things you have experienced due to strong or weak personal boundaries?
- When in the past have you forsaken yourself for maintaining a relationship with someone else?